This whole thread got “You’re so vain” running through my head.

Bro, nuance is for serious discussion and Monty Python sketches, not cheap jokes like OP.

I have a trick to help along hesitant logs. First, you get some toilet paper over your fingers, then you press in at the soft spot right past the end of the tailbone. The sweet spot seems to be about half way between the tailbone and the bhole. Do it right and the log just glides right out with practically no effort and no pain.

I think it was South Park that broke him.

The laundromats and carwashes don’t seem that strange. My home “city” of not even half a million people has 20 laundromats I could find on Google Maps and more carwashes than would seem reasonable. I don’t know what’s a reasonable number of furniture and mattress stores because one big place sucks up most of that business, but even with that, we’ve got at least a dozen different places to get mattresses.

LET ME SEE YOU GRIT THOSE TEETH!